Much has occurred since I shared my challenging news

Much has occurred since I shared with you the Challenging News that I received in June. I have learned a great deal about the disease of prostate cancer. In fact I went from being on a mission to learn what I was dealing with to being overwhelmed in less than a week. Fortunately there are many, many who have preceded me down this challenging path, most with very encouraging forecasts of what I will encounter. All had tremendous zeal to help me deal with the confusion of treatment options and the depression of knowing my life has come to a crossroads and there could be more bad news. Fortunately there are also many gifted treatment providers: hospitals, clinics, surgeons, radiologists and oncologists. All these providers appear capable although some are more user friendly than others. However, adding to the confusion, all treatments appear to have approximately the same success rate. But of course, all providers have something unique to sell. Most of the marketing appears to focus on the potential of avoiding the collateral damage or handicaps associated with the various courses of treatment. When you get caught up in all of this you realize that you/me are just little cogs in a big business machine. From a purely mercantile perspective, I figure my disease is going to mean $30,000 to $50,000 of revenue to some combination of providers. To that end, I assure you there is no shortage of marketing zeal to capture that revenue. And the insurance companies are appropriately skilled at making one jump through hoops to prevent being ripped off by the system. As long as you have insurance, you are somebody. In the absence of insurance, you are nobody. This whole environment has been very confusing. Another part of the update is that I have been overwhelmed. Part of being overwhelmed has been the mouth dropping shock regarding those who are pro actively and enthusiastically concerned for my welfare. You all know that I am an "open kimono", transparent kind of guy so I felt obligated to let those with whom I have close contact know what was going on because some form of treatment was in my future. As I was drafting the "Challenging News" email I was giving thought to who I should send it to. I even said to myself, "I don't have many close friends and contacts so this won't take long." I concluded that my only criteria for advising someone of my Challenging News was if I would want to know and be involved if this person was encountering the same circumstances. I knew I had under estimated my situation when it took me three hours to select and/or accumulate all the email addresses. Due to the number of names, I had to break up the "send" into four waves. Then the nature of the responses from those I sent the email to and the "forwarded" responses from those I did not send it to just emotionally overwhelmed me. I must admit that I was unprepared for the outpouring of love and support I received. I was also not prepared for the embarrassment of realizing I had not sent the email to many, many who felt that I under estimated their concern, love and support. I have learned that I am a much better giver than receiver. I receive a great deal of joy in giving and their are others who feel the same. If I deprive others of giving by not receiving the love and support they offer, it is comparable to telling them they are not valued or appreciated. I have also learned that I have touched many lives in ways that I had no idea about. As I was sharing with a caller the other evening, I am just speechless. God has not given may words to express how overwhelmed I am by your love and support. Based upon the prognosis of my doctors I anticipate long life after treatment, but if God chooses to take me home I will arrive in his presence still amazed at the comforting power of the Body of Christ. Although I would rather be serving your needs, I accept and truly appreciate your concern for my welfare and support for my recovery. And to those of you that I have emailed but I have not had the chance to personally speak, I am looking forward to that opportunity. And no doubt, this has also been depressing. The emotional ups and downs are very fatiguing. This fatigue combined with concern regarding the impact of my mortality on family, partners and clients is depressing. The as you are being poked, tested and analyzed, it is easy to conclude that every ache and pain is the progression of cancer. Every doctors office feels like a branch of the government. Most of the time an automated receptionist tells you to leave a message and someone will call you back. Then no one you talk to can give you a straight answer. Although I have been overwhelmed, confused and depressed, I am better. Pat, Amy, Kendall, Champ and I have decided that we are going to address this with surgery. Following the best advice I received, "treat the cancer not the side effects", I think this is the most appropriate route for me. I will have the prostate removed on August 15th in Tampa. I have identified the best "ace" I could find who specializes in this surgery. As of August 15th he will have done over 225 using the Da Vinci robotics. I will be in the hospital over night, out of action about a week and on injured reserve for another two or three weeks. We are going to treat the cancer first and pray for the best results regarding side effects, biopsies, etc. With a full understanding of what we are dealing with, additional treatments will be undertaken if deemed appropriate after the surgeon gives the scouting report on neighboring organs and limp nodes. I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say I am a little scared about going under the ether and having someone fool around with my plumbing. However, I am relieved that we have made a decision and I have the peace of Christ that this is the right course of action with the right surgeon. Please pray for my surgeon Dr. Frank Mastandria. Devine guidance for the ace would be much appreciated. And, also pray for my family because I believe this is tougher on them than me. I'll be under the ether and in the hands of God while they are watching the clock. Also please pray for my patience and discernment. I have spent much time in the oncology ward with my Mom encouraging her and those sitting around us. I would like to continue to do that but it is easy for me to get so self absorbed that I don't recognize those around me need an encoring word. Thank you beyond words.